How Personal Development Transformed My Life

Personal development is a commonly heard term nowadays as people search for more meaning, connection and answers from their experience of themselves within modern life. 

Personal development isn’t just a concept though; it’s a powerful force that can completely reshape your life. I’ve experienced this transformation firsthand. My journey started with an idyllic childhood, full of joy, connection, and a deep sense of knowing who I was. I trusted myself completely, and life felt effortless. But all of that changed when trauma entered my life at age 12.

The Impact of Trauma and Dissociation

The trauma I experienced had a profound and lasting effect. Almost overnight, I lost the deep connection I once had with myself. I couldn’t even identify basic things like my favourite colour anymore. This loss of connection is a form of dissociation, a process where a person disconnects from their thoughts, emotions, or even their sense of identity.

Dissociation is common for people who suffer with negative mental health and/or have experienced trauma, especially during childhood. It’s often a way the mind copes with overwhelming stress—like a mental escape when physical escape isn’t possible. In my case, dissociation became a constant state. It was as if I was watching my life from the outside, struggling to engage with the world. Over the years, this dissociation manifested in anxiety, depression, panic attacks, and addiction. Life felt out of control, and I was desperately searching for something to ground me again.

The Search for Healing

For years, I tried various forms of therapy to regain some sense of balance. I explored Hypnotherapy, Transactional Analysis, and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), all of which provided some relief but never fully addressed the core of my disconnection. I was functioning, but barely. Alcohol became a way to numb the overactive mind and suppressed emotions, and later, chronic back pain led me to opioid painkillers, which I also ended up using as a way to escape and numb myself.

I knew deep down that the person I had been—the person who was confident, connected, and in tune with life—was still there, hidden beneath layers of pain and trauma. But I didn’t know how to reconnect with that version of myself.

Discovering Meditation and the Path to Transformation

About eight years ago, I found meditation and that’s when my transformation truly began. Meditation opened up latent networks in my brain, creating a space in my mind that I hadn’t experienced in years. It helped me slow down, quiet the noise, begin to reconnect with my inner self and raised my consciousness and level of awareness. With regular practice, I started to feel more present, more grounded, and more aware of the thoughts and emotions that had been controlling me for so long.

I understand clearly now how important awareness truly is in the context of personal development. It’s a simple concept when you step back and look at it; being unaware of our thoughts, beliefs, emotions and behaviours leaves us ignorant to large parts who we are (our personality) and how we present to the world. Starting to notice (becoming aware of) these thoughts, behaviours and emotions allows us the opportunity to decide if we want to change any of them. This is the first step into actioning personal development, transformation or change. 

So meditation and personal awareness marked just the beginning of my personal journey. While it helped me find some balance, I needed more to fully break free from the trauma and dissociation. That’s when I turned to Personal Coaching and NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming).

Personal Coaching and NLP: The Game Changers

This is where Personal Coaching and NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) came into play. I sought out an NLP Master Practitioner, and the impact was nothing short of life-changing. With the help of my coach, I began to dismantle the mental and emotional blocks that had been holding me back for so long. The changes I experienced were fast, deep, and most importantly, permanent.

NLP helped me reconnect with my true self in ways I never thought possible. It gave me tools to reprogram my mind, enabling me to release the limiting beliefs and patterns that had been controlling my life. Through coaching, I learned how to move past the obstacles that once felt insurmountable.

I was already training to become a Life Coach and NLP Master Practitioner when I engaged my personal NLP Coach. This training not only accelerated my own personal development but also gave me the skills to help others on their journey toward transformation.

The Transformation: Reconnecting with Myself

Today, I feel more present, balanced and connected than I ever thought possible. The sense of disconnection that once dominated my life has been replaced with a deep sense of self-awareness and inner peace. I’m more in tune with my emotions, more present in my relationships, and more confident in navigating life’s challenges.

One of the most significant changes is that I’ve moved from feeling like a victim of my circumstances to being grateful for the lessons life has taught me. Without the trauma I experienced, I wouldn’t have been pushed to grow in the ways I have. I no longer see the difficult moments in my life as things that happened to me; instead, I see them as opportunities for growth and self-discovery.

The Journey Continues

Personal development is not a destination; it’s a continuous journey. While I’ve made incredible strides in reconnecting with myself and transforming my life, the work doesn’t stop here. Every day brings new challenges, new opportunities for growth, and new chances to deepen my connection to myself and the world around me.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this journey, it’s that no matter how disconnected or lost you may feel, there is always a way back. Personal development offers the tools and guidance to help you rediscover yourself, heal old wounds, and create the life you truly desire.

My transformation was not quick or easy, but it was worth every moment of effort. Through meditation, coaching, and NLP, I’ve reclaimed my sense of self and built a life that feels authentic and fulfilling. The journey continues, and I’m excited to see where it leads next.

Don’t Believe You Can Reach Your Goals? Here's the Secret to Shattering Limiting Beliefs

We all have limiting beliefs and some of them are responsible for keeping you from fulfilling your goals and living the life that you want to live. 

Limiting beliefs are subconsciously held assumptions or convictions that restrict a person’s potential, capabilities, or sense of possibility. Essentially they are beliefs about ourselves formed through experiences we’ve had and the subsequent decisions we’ve made about the world and ourselves. We then apply these beliefs to future experiences (real or imagined) and this becomes a filter for our decision-making. 

Limiting beliefs can negatively influence decisions, actions, and overall quality of life. However, changing these beliefs can lead to personal growth, increased confidence, and better outcomes in various areas of life. And the good news is that you CAN change them. 

There are different types of Limiting beliefs. Personal ones like, “I’m not good enough. I’m not worthy” are common. My coach NLP Master Practitioner, Damon Cart told me, “This is not true, this is a generalisation. There is no way of measuring self-worth, it doesn’t exist. There is no such thing as good enough, not enough - this is a duality.”

It’s true, I mean there’s no such thing as a ‘Self-worthometer’ where we can take a reading. Equally, that’s not to dismiss the idea that many people feel this way about themselves and, if they do then they can reframe this by working with a personal coach or potentially for much deeper childhood-related trauma work, a therapist. 

Other limiting beliefs that are also considered to be common include but are in no way limited to: 

1. Career, "I’m not leadership material, I can’t manage people, I will never find a better job or I can’t balance life and work.” 

2. Social, “I can’t speak in public, People don’t like me.”

3. Financial, “I’m not good with money, I don’t deserve to be wealthy, There are no good opportunities for me.”

4. Success and failure, “Success is for other people, I’m not that person, No matter how hard I try, it will never be enough”

Life, “I have no purpose, I don’t know what my purpose is.”

The interesting and somewhat sad truth about this common occurrence with us humans is the fact that we tend to accept and live with the idea that, “This is how I am, I can’t change it”. What if more of us asked, “What do I truly want?” or “How can I change this belief?” Would anything bad happen? Quite the contrary, only growth and ultimate personal development can come from taking action off of the back of these questions. 

So what can we do about changing limiting beliefs and how do we do it? 

Awareness is the first step. Without awareness, we are of course blind to the problem, the limiting belief. 

Developing self-awareness:  

1. Work on becoming more ‘Present’ or in the moment, not away with your thoughts. This can be developed by meditation, mindfulness, actively listening to others and giving them your full attention, and reflecting on your contributions and behaviour without judgment. 

2. Journaling (even if it's 3 lines of blurb. Let it jump onto the page without considering it). Gratitude journalling, list 3-10 things that you are truly grateful for and allow yourself to really feel it in your heart.  

3. Work with a personal coach 1-2-1 or in a group. This will provide a safe space to explore your thoughts, behaviours, and emotions without judgement.

Developing self-awareness helps us to identify what we’re saying to ourselves, what we want, and what might be in the way of us having it - limiting beliefs. 

Taking action is the next step. If you’re serious about changing limiting beliefs (that are only made true to the individual, from their perspective) then action is required: 

1. Set small achievable goals that align with a new positive belief i.e. if you believe that you can’t speak in public, start by speaking in small groups and gradually increase the size. 

2. Be compassionate towards yourself. Use positive and nonjudgmental self-talk, catch yourself when you don’t do this, and change it - it comes with practice. 

3. Reframe beliefs i.e. “I can’t do this” to “I can learn to do this with effort and practice.”

4. Work with a personal coach. One way that I use in my coaching practice is called ‘Parts Integration’, which supports the client to welcome the part of them that holds the limiting belief. Every negative behaviour that we present has a positive intention at its core and a coach will help to elicit what the highest positive intention of that part is. Then the client will invite the part to support them in achieving their goal. This is incredibly powerful and people using this process often feel a real shift of energy when the part aligns with them - a permanent shift takes place and they feel like a new person. 

No one has to be ‘stuck’ with these limiting beliefs that they have developed over time, it’s a myth and that’s great news for humanity! So what are you waiting for? Time to get busy turning those limiting beliefs into GOLD! 

‘Reflection’ to Solve Your Life-Work Balance Issue

I remained unhappy and stressed until I changed this.

No time for yourself. Not enjoying life-work. Living to work and provide.

Become happier, and healthier, reduce stress, and create time for yourself while aligning your life to what you truly want. 

Reframing the life-work juggle by reflecting on your values and past successes can help you to realise that you already have all of the resources that you need to create the life-work situation you want to have. 

Make time to go through the reflective process. Personal reflective work is always enhanced by going through it with another person; a partner, friend, or a trusted acquaintance to give you an objective perspective (rhymes)! 

The most powerful and empowering way to go about this would be to utilise the skills of a coach, who can support you to great outcomes while helping you to stretch your thinking, without which you would not reach the vast possibilities lying already within you. This process could be completed swiftly, providing an empowered and focused perspective, with clear goals and a timeframe. 

I spent years running myself around in circles, experiencing stress, anxiety, and burnout with no balance in sight. I felt hopeless until I finally stopped, reflected on the bigger picture, realised what was truly important to me and that changed everything. 

I’d been down in the detail, playing with and jumping from one time management tool or technique to another - none of it stuck, I couldn’t understand why and decided that the issue must be me. This just creates or reinforces limiting, negative beliefs further exacerbating the problem and inducing more stress and anxiety. 

It wasn’t until I stepped back and looked at the bigger picture, and considered my strengths, qualities and took the time to figure out what my ultimate values are within the context of what I was doing before I could make meaningful changes, from a place of clarity and alignment with what I truly wanted. 

I worked with a coach to support me in exploring my life-work situation from a place of honesty and in a safe space where I felt comfortable to share whatever I needed to. They helped me to realise that I had way more strengths and qualities than I had given myself credit for, helped me to establish my most important values, transform limiting beliefs into supportive ones, and revisit the life-work process from a new perspective…and this is what made the difference.

Now, when I utilise time management systems, I have much more of a connection with why I am using them and therefore get much more out of them. I learned that without a clear and genuine connection between my values and my goals, I would continue to feel the way I did and would lack the conviction I needed to reach them. Instead of beating myself up, I understood why I had behaved the way I had and could begin to support myself to succeed. 

I’m still a work in progress, as we all are but I’ve started my own business now, which I wouldn’t have embarked on a few years ago, and that says it all really.